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  • Writer's pictureDeborah Yaffe

Greatest Hits, Part I

The Emmy nominations were announced recently, and all the brouhaha over Game of Thrones et al. has left me hankering to award some prizes of my own. As regular blog readers know, one of my perennial themes is the proliferation on the Internet of quotes from Jane Austen movies masquerading as the words of the novelist herself. It would be fair to say that I do not look kindly upon these sloppy mistakes, so easily avoided in this age of searchable e-texts. Still, there’s a certain grandeur to this phenomenon – or, at least, to its imperviousness to eradication. Faux Austen quotes are the cockroaches of error, the kudzu of cyberspace. In that spirit, I hereby bring you the Top Five Faux Jane Austen Quotes. In the spirit of the occasion, there are actually six of them. The Top Five (Or, Actually, Six) Faux Jane Austen Quotes 5. “Perhaps it is our imperfections that make us so perfect for one another.” Attributed to: Jane Austen, Emma Actually the work of: Douglas McGrath, Emma (1996) The cherry on this sundae of inaccuracy: the movie words, spoken by Jeremy Northam's Mr. Knightley moments after Gwyneth Paltrow's Emma has accepted his proposal, are actually “Maybe it is our imperfections which make us so perfect for one another.” But who’s counting? 4. “We are all fools in love.” Attributed to: Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice Actually the work of: Deborah Moggach, Pride and Prejudice (2005) Yes, we are. (Fools in love, that is.) And also suckers for any mistake that’s repeated often enough. 3. “There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time.” Attributed to: Jane Austen, Mansfield Park (or, sometimes, “personal correspondence”) Actually the work of: Patricia Rozema, Mansfield Park (1999) Maybe it was inevitable that Rozema’s highly idiosyncratic film would spawn a faux quote: after all, she claims to have based her screenplay not only on Austen’s novel and letters but also on her “early journals.” Which don’t exist. (Presumably, Rozema meant the juvenilia, but those are fiction, not autobiography.) 2. (tie) “You have bewitched me body and soul.” Attributed to: Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice Actually the work of: Deborah Moggach, Pride and Prejudice (2005) 2. (tie) “To love is to burn, to be on fire.” Attributed to: Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility Actually the work of: Emma Thompson, Sense and Sensibility (1995) The problem, as I’ve noted before, is that Jane Austen the Ur-Romance Novelist is actually not given to grand romantic statements. If you want those, you almost have to turn to the movies. 1. “It isn’t what we say or think that defines us, but what we do.” Attributed to: Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility Actually the work of: Andrew Davies, Sense and Sensibility (2008) This time, the garbling of the faux quote isn’t just a cherry on the sundae; it’s practically a whole extra scoop of ice cream. For, as I’ve reported elsewhere, the real Davies quote, uttered by a newly wised-up Marianne Dashwood, is “It is not what we say or feel that makes us what we are. It is what we do, or fail to do.” But if they won’t check the searchable e-texts, they’re certainly not going to scroll through an entire three-part mini-series to make sure they’ve got it right. Well, that was refreshing! I like handing out prizes! In fact, tune in Thursday for another round. . . 2 comments

Jul 29 2019 11:09PM by A. Marie Yes, I'm still here, although increasingly hampered in keeping up with All Things Jane by my Mr. Darcy's Alzheimer's. (Which gives rise to an interesting idea for a sequel: Suppose Mrs. Darcy really did have to look after a demented Mr. Darcy in their respective old ages?) But your Greatest Hits have reminded me that "I am still a Cat if I see a Mouse." I might have ranked your #3 as my #1 (it irritates me more), but I applaud the general concept.


Aug 3 2019 06:32PM by Deborah Yaffe Good to hear from you, Marie, and my deepest sympathies on your current situation: Having experienced a parent's dementia, I have some inkling of how hard this is. Perhaps you can find time to get to work on that sequel. . .

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